Last night we had a bible sharing with the scholars of Oikos. We used the Gospel reading from mass, Mark 9:30-37. There were about 15 of us with Sister Clarissa. We sang an opening song, and one of the seminarians who is also an Oikos scholar us in an opening prayer. It was quite beautiful, sitting in the little chapel at Providence Home in candlelight on the floor, listening to the Word of God, then listening to God Himself to hear what He has to say to each one of us.
For anyone unfamiliar with this passage... well, you could look it up, but for now I will give a brief synopsis. Jesus is with His apostles walking through Galilee and He is telling them about the type of death He would suffer. However, the apostles did not understand and were afraid to ask Him questions about it. Then, as they were walking, the apostles were arguing about who is the greatest among them. Jesus, upon learning of this discussion, tells them that in order to be first, they must make themselves last, a servant to others. Then He goes on to say that anyone who welcomes a child in His name welcomes the One who sent Jesus.
I was one of the first to share as we went around in a circle and I was sitting in the hot seat!! I kept thinking, during our quiet time, about the apostles not understanding what Jesus was saying and being afraid to ask Him questions about it. It really gives me a little comfort, knowing that the ones that Jesus hand-picked to begin His Church on earth with Him didn't understand... that they were afraid to ask Him more. There are plenty of times that I do not understand things about my faith, about what Jesus is teaching through the Gospels, even why we do some of the things we do. And to be honest, there was a time when I was afraid to seek more deeply into my faith because I was afraid that God would want me to change my life, and I liked it just fine the way it was. What gives me comfort about this passage is that even the apostles, those men closest to Jesus, didn't always understand and at times were afraid to go deeper. But then I look at what these men eventually accomplished with the help of the Holy Spirit. They built the solid foundation on which the Catholic Church stands on today. And through rough times, wars, scandals, hypocrisies, unjust leaders and more, the Catholic Church still stands strong today. So even though I may stumble, fumble and lose my way at times, I can have courage that through the help of the Holy Spirit, I may endeavor to eventually be who God created me to be and be pleasing to Him.
Well, I added a little more to this than I said last night, but that was basically it. But the scholars really dove deep into themselves, they really let God touch the inner most pain that they had, and they shared it with us. Now, since I am bound by honor not to go into detail about what each person said, let me just skim the surface a little. These 18 to 22 year olds have been through more in their lives than I could ever even imagine... more pain and heartache than any man, woman or child should have to go through in a lifetime. Being abandoned, not having a home and living on the streets, not being wanted by either parent when they divorce and both start a new family, having a parent unjustly imprisoned, being bullied, abused... it goes on and on. And the crazy thing is, when I met these kids, they were the most joyful people I think I've ever met. I have been around them, working with them, praying with them for two weeks now and never had a clue at all that they had this searing pain in their past that erupts like the most horrible heartburn and no medicine can take it away.
Well, one thing can... love. And that is what these kids found at Oikos. They found true and unconditional love, support, people who believe in them, are willing to make an investment in them, a safety net and a stable life. What amazing women these Oikos Sisters are! I am humbled, deeply and truly humbled by the lives these kids have led so far. I thought I had hard times growing up... I thought I had things to complain about. There is nothing that ever happened to me that is worse than the least painful experience one of these kids have had. And yet, here they are... opening up, sharing and trusting, believing that in God they will find peace, solace, a resting place, possibly even forgiveness... and having hope for the future. How amazing to be a witness to this and to be able to serve people such as these.
And the most astounding thing is, in my opinion, the most amazing and mind-blowing thing that occurs to me is that working and helping with these scholars, finding sponsors for them for college, housing, feeding and clothing them and helping them resolve past pain to find the joy God wants for them is only one of MANY things the Oikos Sisters do. It just makes me feel like... wow! xxoo
