One day Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was feeling depressed and hopeless about his work and the mountain of racism he was facing. He may have even felt like giving up. He felt a certain push to go outside in the night time on his porch. There, he felt a voice in his heart asking him to look up at the stars. He was asked if any of the stars are falling down. No, he said. That is because I am holding the stars in my hands so they won't fall, said the voice. The same hands that hold the stars are holding you, Martin, and how much more tender and loving are you held in my hands than the night stars? Infinitely more. Feeling uplifted, Dr. King was able to continue on his peaceful fight.
The above story was told to me by Sister Minerva, superior of the Oikos Sisters here in Borongan. She was telling the story in response to someone's comment about the mission...right now I cannot remember what the comment was. But what I do know is that all day I had been struggling with the imbalance of everything in this messed up world and was, in my heart, questioning God's thinking. Then, Sister tells this story. It may as well been God sitting next to me, looking in my heart and telling it just to me.
It always is so difficult for me to be here, experiencing true and deep poverty while having a first world background, knowing where I came from and where I will eventually return to. Little and big things have been happening all week and it all just seemed to make sadness overflow in me. Things like...
...I read an article about the money Clinton and Trump raised over the course of their campaigns...millions of dollars spent on planes, hotels, commercials and posters. But here I see people living in stick houses, with nothing to eat, with no running water, with no electricity and I think...that's crazy and unfair. How can they so easily raise a ton of money to pay for such an inane purpose...they are both at least millionaires...and people here be dying, largely unnoticed by a world that could help them. (Don't even get me started on the salaries of professional sports players.)
...One of the scholars that was sponsored by the Oikos Sisters and the Poor Household of God is a nurse in the hospital here in Borongan. She has been telling me of some of the patients she has been caring for. This week, three mothers died having their babies. In one case, the mother had twins before she died, but one of the twins died as well. She was the mother of 6, living in a barrio where the Oikos Sisters live, in a small home. There was something else wrong with her as she was jaundice just before dying, but in America, the problem probably would have been discovered and she would have been helped. Here in the poor barrios of Borongan, people can't get to see doctors, and when they can, the national health care they have often runs out, so mid-treatment the doctors can no longer help them. It's crazy.
...I know that this is a different culture and that things are done differently here, but it pains me to see children, no older than 5 or 6 walking alone to school...pretty far away, children sitting on the top of cabs because there isn't enough room inside for them, children being left out of families when the parents separate and want to only have their new family...where are the parents, to see their children safely to school; where are the police officers who make sure motorists are following the rules and NO ONE is sitting on top of a moving vehicle; where are the social workers to see that parents are being responsible for their children? At times I feel there are too many laws in the US, that there are too many restrictions or rules to follow...but here, there are definitely too little and, it seems, it is the children who suffer.
....I had just written a post about a little vacation we took that was very restful and so totally appreciated!! But upon coming home, I received pictures of a vacation my parents were taking in Florida...of the plushness of their rooms, of the sumptuousness of the food they had. Although I am happy that my parents are having such a lovely and well-deserved vacation, it occurred to me that probably most, if not all, of the poor children we care for will ever experience that, and it hurt me, not to mention made me feel guilty for the wonderful vacations I myself have had.
...There was a rally here in town because after Typhoon Ruby, 2 years ago, people who lost their whole home were promised 30,000 pesos and people who had partial damage were promised 15,000 pesos. The national government sent the money, all of it, to the regional governments. Here in Borongan, the money was kept from the people for a long time, and then, when it was finally distributed, the beneficiaries received only a little more than half of what was promised. These people have nothing, have lost everything and they do not have a government who cares about them.
I want the people here to have a vacation with a comfy queen sized bed and a pool and an amazing meal, I want the authorities and the government here to act responsibly for the people they are supposed to be serving, I want parents to open their eyes to what they are doing for their children, I want these poor people to have a home, security, privacy, comfort, enough to eat and a secure livelihood.
Here's the reality... I can do nothing.
It's pretty depressing. I have noticed that in missionary work, there are extreme highs and extreme lows. I remember just a few weeks ago being stoked about helping to feed over 1,000 people in 2 days, and tonight I am having trouble figuring out what's it all for.
And then, Sister Minerva tells a story about Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., probably at a point where he experienced similar feelings as I am right now...facing a tsunami of sad feelings that seem to overwhelm me. But as I look at the stars tonight, I remember the story...the same hands that hold the stars in place are holding me, they are holding the poor people in Borongan, they are holding all the poor people in the world, they are holding you, even as you read this, and we are all being infinitely loved, regardless of where we lay our heads or what we have. And it comforts me.
I pray for a peaceful election day in the United States. Please join me. xxoo
