Last night we celebrated Bishop Vincent Sowah Boi-Nai's birthday. He is 70 years old! He came to the orphanage to say mass and have dinner with us. Mary Clare and I worked with the children preparing songs for him, a skit of the Miracle of the 10 Lepers based on the Gospel of St. Luke, and making a birthday card for him. It was a very fun night! As Sister Stan and Mary Clare ran around taking care of the details, Sister had me sit with the Bishop and begin our meal. It was so nice! He is a great man, and has great faith.
One of the things he said to me, about me, is that many times it is better for a person's vocation that they take a meandering road to find it. All of the life experiences they gather before being shown their vocation by God add to the gifts they are able to bring to their new life. It is a beautiful philosophy, one I greatly appreciated hearing!
He began to explain to me the reasons behind the tribal custom of abandoning children. We really only hit the tip of the iceburg, which we will continue during a few classes on Ghanan history and traditions he will teach Mary Clare and I at his residence. I don't think he had any intention of beginning to talk about this, but I told him one of my hardest hurdles here is my judging people who abandon their children. He told me these people want to be able to explain everything. They have to be in control of every situation, and if you have no explanation, how can you control it? For instance, when an eighty year old woman is living in the tribe, and a 10 year old child dies, how can that be explained? In their eyes, the old woman should have been the one to die, it makes no sense that a 10 year old should die, and how can you control what you do not understand? So, someone has to be blamed for the death of the 10 year old child. If you find the one to blame, then you've solved the issue, you can deal with the punishment of the culprit and you remain in control. Who is to blame when a child is born without a right arm, or cannot talk by the age of 5? Who is to blame if a mother dies during childbirth or a totally healthy baby dies? These people believe someone is, and that someone is evil and can no longer live among them and that the chief and elders of the tribe know who is to blame. I didn't ask him this yet, but in my little experience with meeting these people, it would seem there is no disputing who is found to be guilty, and that the parents I have met just want the whole thing dealt with so they can continue on with their lives.
Why do they often blame children? We didn't get that far, but perhaps because a child/baby cannot defend themselves, perhaps if everything was fine until the newest member of the tribe came along, that new member is to blame for their woes. It seems to be an awful lot of responsibility to be able to come up with an explanation for every bad thing that happens in life. There are just so many things that happen... it is exhausting just thinking about it. And to think that one person or one group of elders has control of everything and has to find a reason for everything that goes wrong... it seems maddening to me.
I am not sure if the Bishops short explanation of the tribal customs has helped me to be less judgmental, but I am beginning to have an idea of why the abandonment of children is happening. The Bishop said education is the way to break through the barriers of tribal customs and get people to change, but he said these traditions and beliefs have a long, long history and will be difficult to stop. It makes me grateful, once again, for the Catholic Church, which teaches none of us are in control, that in fact, it is in giving up control that we find our way, we find answers and solutions to problems. I know it is sort of a trite, overused line, but it makes me think of the phrase, "Let go and let God", meaning let go of your problem, worry, concern, hurt and let God take care of it. I used to use the image of blowing up a balloon, with each breath I released whatever it was that was causing me trouble into the balloon, and then I let go of the balloon and let it rise to God, and He would handle everything. It takes a great deal of faith to give up all of your control to a being you can neither see or touch. But it does feel good to let it all go. I will write more about this as I learn more.
On to other news... I have a new cap I wear here... not only am a now (without any training or experience mostly, mind you) a physical therapist, nurse, teacher, choir director, play writer, mother, driver, referee, banker and cook, now I am also a chicken farmer!!! Somebody send me some overalls and a straw hat! I was removing the chaff out of whole dried corn kernels today to be ground and mixed with wheat and oyster shells for our chicken feed!! I will be mixing the feed together shortly... as soon as the kids come back from the grinding station. I am not sure where it is, but we are currently without car since both have broken down, so the kids carried 1 and 1/2 bags of corn on their heads (60 big bowls of raw dried corn) to be ground for the feed. Our chickens are sick, apparently, so we have a new mix of food to give them and for some reason, Sister thinks I will be able to supervise the feeding of the chickens to make them better. And as in the Little House days, we don't buy chicken feed, we make our own!! I have just begun shrugging my shoulders and saying, "Sure, I can do that!!" Chaffing corn... what next? I better not ask!!!!! xo
