About two weeks ago, a mother and father brought a baby here. The baby is two years old. Her name is Mary and she has cerebral palsy and severe brain damage. She cannot hold up her head, sit by herself or easily move her limbs. At the time they dropped her off, the father was out of control, yelling at Sister Stan that if she didn't take Mary, he would kill her(the baby). Sister immediately called the police and they arrested him. The mother stayed that night with the baby and has been here ever since.
They do not speak English, but I am told that the people in their tribe make fun of them and abuse them for keeping the baby. They are ostracized from the community and cannot go back with the baby. The father was released the next day, but didn't return to the orphanage to see his wife for about a week. I don't know where he has been. The mother wanted to leave the baby here and go, but Sister Stan wants the mother to know that they have a responsibility to this child.
Sister allowed the mother to go to the hospital with us on one of our many trips so the doctors could give a prognosis for the child. When the mother returned, she said the doctor told her there is nothing we can do for this child, she may as well just die. Of course, upon contacting the doctor, he did not say that. He said there were exercises we can do with Mary to help build up her strength so she can sit up, feed herself and hopefully walk. The doctor wants to see her once a month to keep track of her progress... and will do so for free because the parents have no way of paying for it (score 1 for the hospital)
Since being here, I have seen the mother bond with her baby. She still breast feeds Mary, although she is two years old and has lots of teeth. She sings to Mary and snuggles her, it is beautiful to see. I would like to think that being here among people who love children like Mary has had a positive affect on the mother. Sister has had the mother helping around with chores, and in return is given food and clothing for her and Mary.
The father came back this week one day, and I saw him holding and talking to his child. I thought... is this a miracle? I couldn't believe my eyes and ears. He looked so sincere and loving. Sister Stan told me he came back to get his wife. He wants to leave the baby here and run.
Tonight the father contacted the mother and told her to meet him outside the orphanage tomorrow so he can give her money. Sister thinks it is an attempt for them to run away together. She will not allow the mother to take Mary with her, because of course, the father has not changed his mind about the life of the baby. So, the mother has a decision to make. Does she stay here with her child, that from all I can see, she loves, or does she run away with her husband, abandoning Mary?
I have no idea what she will do. She must choose between her husband and her child. It is heartbreaking. Sister Stan tells me that I am too sentimental. That the mother does not love the child. She is still here only because Sister won't let her leave. That when she looks at her child, the mother just sees the thing that disrupted her life, and given the first opportunity, she will leave and not look back.
Mary Clare and I have been helping with the exercises the doctor gave us to do with Mary. It is not easy, and Mary likes to tighten up so we have a hard time getting her to move her limbs. Mary Clare discovered Mary likes music and that listening to it relaxes her enough that we can help her. She is adorable, with a big smile and a bubbling laugh. How can a mother and father turn their backs on such a love, on someone so dependent on them? It will definitely be hard work raising her. She needs constant supervision right now, with exercising three times a day, and we do not know what future medical needs she might have or if she will ever be able to do anything for herself.
Mary is a gift. And I do not know why God made her this way. I do not know what His will is for her life. But He did, and He knows, and that's enough for me. I pray with all my might that the mother has the courage and strength to love her child more than fear cultural prejudices and tribal voodoo. It is a seemingly impossible cycle to break, but maybe it will begin with Mary.
Please pray for Mary and for her parents. xo
