A few days ago, I told you about Mary, a two year old girl with cerebral palsy who is really in the process of being abandoned by her parents. Mary's mother was supposed to meet with her father over the weekend, but he never showed up. He was going to bring her money so she could afford to go home. So, Mary and her mother are still here.
What I have a problem understanding is how a woman, with love in her eyes when she looks at her daughter, can just leave her. She swells with pride whenever I take the time to try to make Mary smile, she cuddles and sings to her. Maybe she thinks that here Mary would get a better life than anywhere else she can think of. Sister Stan tells me that when Mary's mother looks at her, she just sees a problem, the reason she is not with her family and husband, someone not worth loving.
It is startling, the different views Sister and I have upon witnessing the situation. These are her people, and she knows the culture best, obviously, so I guess Sister is probably right. But while I am filled with squishy, wishy-washy emotion at this heartbreak, Sister sees it with pragmatism and without the emotion I am swimming in. I guess I keep on trying to put myself in the mother's place and will her to keep Mary, to see who her daughter is past the illness, to love without condition. But as much as I try, it never works, and the pain I feel for Mary, and for her mother, just grows.
All I can say is that I do not comprehend a tiny bit of all this. All of the children here at The Nazareth Home for God's Children are in need of special care. Probably none of them will ever lead what you and I consider "normal lives." And I will admit that there are moments when the emotion I feel towards some of them is not so lovey-dovey... but let me reassure you, each child is worthy of love.
I suppose this will go on until Mary's mother finds the money to return home. Sister Stan believes that in her heart, the mother is already gone, already planning the next child, who, this time, will be "perfect." Well, in Mary's smile I see the light of God's reflection, and in taking the time to work with her poor little body, I feel a connection and trust that is hard to find in this world. If only the mother could see that.
If only. xo
