Often in my life I have wondered what people do who do not believe in God. Usually I feel this way when something happens to me or someone I love that threatens to cause me to give up all my hope. Be it a diagnosis for a terrible disease, the loss of a baby, the loss of a loved one or a relationship... things have happened to and around me that, without a firm faith in God and in eternal life, I wonder how anyone has the capabilities to get through these travesties on their own power. It is my faith alone that is my life preserver. I grab onto it with such ferocity, you'd think I really was drowning in the ocean. It may be a sad commentary on my faith, that I appreciate and hold onto it most in times of sorrow and trial, but there it is. I am imperfect, what can I say??
Well, since being here, especially on this trip, I have felt that way each and every day. How can anyone live in this devastating poverty and unceasing heat with constant fears of where to find water and food and daily concerns about sicknesses and health care and not believe that some day we will all be in paradise with no worries or fears. Honestly, some days it is that thought alone that enables me to continue on through one crisis and move onto the next. If you have no belief in God and His promise of eternal happiness, how can you even get up in the morning here? I have no idea.
Sister Stan is instilling in her children a firm belief in God and in having a relationship with Him through daily prayer that is inspirational. You know, the kids aren't really aware of the worries and fears we have. They just have blind faith, pardon the pun, that when they get up and go into the dining hall, there will be breakfast, and after breakfast, when they get ready for school, that there will be water for a bath, and so their day continues. Perhaps that is what Jesus meant when He said a child will lead them... that, like children, we should not worry about the incidentals. That God will provide. I do believe that, but at the same time, I cannot release the worry and fear.
What I can say is that I am so grateful for God and His promise of eternal life, for my grandparents and parents who have instilled in me the faith being passed on to these children, for the Holy Spirit who feeds me strength every day and is inspiring people all over to help here in Ghana, and in missions throughout the world.
Today in the first reading, Isiah wrote about God's promise of paradise, of fears obliterated, of tears wiped away, of lions laying down with the lambs... I am holding onto that with all my might.
xo
