Sometimes when I am listening to the readings at mass, one phrase jumps out at me and either stuns me, makes me laugh, makes me cringe or shudder. And, as the daily readings in the Catholic liturgy rotate every three years, its not like I haven't heard all of these things before. At times, I think God allows us to hear something for the first time, even though we've listened to it many times before. For some reason, at a certain time, our hearts are more ready to explore thoughts and ideas that can help us become closer to God than at other times. God, who knows us better than we even know ourselves, can pinpoint the moments we are ready to really hear Him.
So, the phrase that caught my attention the other day was this: "With a sigh from the depths of His spirit..." taken from the Gospel of Mark, chapter 8. In the gospel, Jesus was addressing the Pharisees who were asking Him for a sign, trying to test Him.
I know that I have sighed like that before. As a teacher with my first or fourth grade students, when trying, for the 80th time, to explain something to someone, many times at myself!! A sigh from the depths of your being. I know I have heard that kind of sigh before, sometimes directed at me!! A sigh felt throughout your entire body. It says more than one thousand words can, you know?
I never thought about Jesus sighing like that before. I have talked about my experiences with religious education before...even though I had gone to a Catholic school, my education of the faith could be described as "fluffinutter catechesis." Even though I know my teachers were doing what they were told to do, and were very hard working, I think they fell short on passing on our Catholic Faith. Jesus loves me...I love Jesus...I love others. So, even though I have learned more on my own and have grown quite a lot in my faith, I still see Jesus as always patient, loving, and kind. Even though there are places in the gospels where He calls people fools, turns over selling tables in the temple, and seems to have a difficult time getting through to his apostles, my early catechesis causes me to glaze over such parts when I hear them. But sometimes, like the other day, it gets through my thick skull and pierces my heart, makes me think.
A sigh like that usually isn't in anger... maybe frustration, losing patience, longing for understanding. It makes me think of the times I may have caused Jesus to sigh like that... like all the times I didn't hear Him asking me to become a missionary!! The Filipinos have a phrase they say, and actually it is just 2 words, but when they say it, I can feel a sigh like that. Usually it is said tinged with humor, but sometimes it seems like a sigh like the one Jesus had in today's reading. They say to me, "Ayyye Sarah." It always makes me laugh. But now I think sometimes Jesus is up in heaven, watching us, trying His hardest to help us, and sometimes blowing out His breath, saying "Ayyye Sarah," or Bob or Jennifer or Peter...whoever.
In the missions, I can see many things that might cause Jesus to sigh from the depths of His spirit, thinking when will they finally love each other, when will they finally open their eyes and see who it is that is in front of them? And in our world... oh my, His spirit must be hurting I think. At the many times we turn on each other, the many times we fail to love one another, the many times we put ourselves first, the many times we are not patient, kind, understanding and caring.
If you put everything else aside... finances, societal pressures, politics, economic classes, skin color, all the things that the devil has constructed to divide us and just see who God created each of us to be, maybe we can save Jesus some of His breath, and live much happier lives. But we can't wait for someone else to start. Gotta start now, just me, just you...and others will see the good works we do and want to be included.
The greatest need of our generation is for God's Word to be taught clearly and undiluted, and for Christians to demonstrate that it works. After all, we are the walking, talking evidence before the world that God's Word is true.
There! That's a lot of thinking from 9 words in the bible!! When Jesus is looking at me and says, "Ayyye Sarah," I want it to be with a twinkle in His eye and a smirk on His lips!! 😉
xxoo
