I remember a movie, the title escapes me now, but Jack Nicholson was on the stand in court and shouted, "You can't handle the truth!" I kind of feel like that now. That if I told you the whole truth of our life here, which is only a passing glance at the realities in Ghana, you wouldn't believe me.
The truth is it's really, really hard. Because you want the children who are deaf and all who are unable to undertand to be able to comprehend the word no when they are doing something dangerous. You want to be able to CLEAN...really clean the whole place, sanitize it and provide an environment free of dirt, flies, ants and fecees. You want to be able to give these children and their caretakers clean water, clean dishes, cups that aren't broken and lible to cut their mouths. You want to give each child underwear and clothes that fit...that actually look and smell clean after washing them. You want a proper kitchen for them, where they have room for all the cooking they do, instead of using the floor for available preparation space. And there's more. I didn't mention proper bathing facilities, toilets, clean bathrooms, a safe place to play and toys to play with, and I could go on and on. Proper schooling, medical care and help for the children with mental problems and physical therapy for the children who can't walk. They just sit. All....day....long.
I just want to do it all. Wave my magic wand and fix it. And you may think you can imagine Paula's and my frustration and anger that we cannot do it, but you cannot. It is indescribable. The pain I feel when I realize all I can do is hand out food on dirty plates and water in dirty cups to children who have flies buzzing around their heads and eating their food with soiled hands. It hurts. And its everything...every minute...in all we do, I am not fixing anything, just helping them to survive in their reality.
And the thing is, these children, in all their filth and destitution, are well cared for! As well as or better than the children in the surrounding village. And all around the world, children everywhere face the same reality as these. Where did I go wrong? When did I become a person with blinders on to the world and all it's problems? When did I decide that what I have is mine, and those without...? Can fend for themselves?
The truth is we are all children of God. These babies here are your brothers and sisters in Christ. We cannot change the world, I realize that, now more than ever. But living the life the Gospels call us to live does not include turning a blind eye. I did that. For 41 years. No more...my eyes are open to the real reality of the world. I don't know if I could live here full time. It's mind boggling!! But I can no longer pretend that my reality is everyone's reality and we are all fine.
I was told that my life would be sectioned off into "life before Ghana" and "life after Ghana." I didn't really understand it then, but I already do now. I will never be the same. Oh, happy day!!
May God bless you! Love, Sarah
