Monday, November 30, 2015

Update on Lizell

I hope everyone had a very Happy Thanksgiving in the States.  Mary Jane and I toasted our families and spoke of the traditions we have with our respective families.  Sr. Clarissa received a Magic Jack telephone from one of her friends in the U.S.  It connects to the internet so all of your phone calls are free.  There is an annual fee, but I think it is under $40.00 a year.  Pretty cool, huh?  So Mary Jane and I were able to connect with our families on Thanksgiving, and I am looking forward to calling my family more often.  Thank you, Magic Jack... you are quite magical!

So, Lizell Jane was in the hospital here in Borongan for about 3 days.  If you remember, her home is about 2 hours to the north.  Her lola, grandmother, stayed with her during those days.  Since the hospital here will feed the patients, but not the visitors, the Oikos Sisters brought breakfast, lunch and dinner to Lola.  Sometimes the scholars would go too, and Joey was a frequent visitor as well.  On Wednesday, Lizell and her grandmother came to Nazareth Home from the hospital.  Lizell had some bruises and brush burns on her face, but she was talkative and eating a caramelized banana.  Her grandmother looked well too.  She is really cute... short and a little chubby with a sweet grandmotherly smile.   

Sisters Minerva and Clarissa then took Lola and Lizell home.  Upon returning, they told me that the house was barely a home... one single room, no kitchen, no bathroom (there is a shared bathroom, or comfort room as they call them here, for 5 families), no furniture, no place to do homework.  They said it was really sad.  They also met the other children.  Lizell has two other sisters.  One is 4 and Sister Minerva believes she has a mild case of cerebral palsy, and a two year old.  All three children were abandoned by their mother and are basically abandoned by their father, who only occasionally sends money home to them for help.  The grandmother sells vegetables on the street, but doesn't make enough money for all of their needs.  She told Sister Minerva that she was praying desperately every day for God to help her.

You may not think this is true... that perhaps my brain is melting or I am being ridiculous, but I still contend that God sent us there that day under the guise of having a small vacation only to drive into the path of that family, quite literally.  Lizell will be fine and it looks as though she will have a good recovery.  Joey is driving again, although not on the longer trips, but that will come with time, and now Lizell and her family are in the healing radar of the Oikos Sisters.  They will never let them go.  It is in instances such as this one where I find it difficult to believe that anyone could read this story and not believe there is a higher power, God, looking out for us and making impossible things happen. 

Despite our lost vacation, we have had a very good week here with Mary Jane!!  We have been helping out with the livelihood piglet program, we have done catechesis in the barrios, religion classes with the Oikos kids and scholars, we went to see fish cages in the open sea and got to go swimming in the deep tide pools in the Pacific Ocean.  By the way, a fish cage is just that.  It is a cage that is kept underwater.  The fishermen put fingerling fish into the cages and feed them until they are big and ready to sell at the market.  They can make quite a tidy profit.  I am told that before Typhoon Yolanda, there were many fish cages in the southern part of Eastern Samar, but most of them were lost to the typhoon.  Rebuilding has been costly and difficult, but they are rebuilding.  On Friday we had lunch on a cottage built on a fish cage.  We took a boat out into the open sea and ate fish, crabs, pasta, rice, barbecued chicken and cake on one of the cottages.  It was like our Thanksgiving feast a day late.  Marasa!!  (Delicious!!)

Today is Sister Minerva's birthday!  All of the scholars came over here to Nazareth Home around 4am this morning to sing to Mita, as she is called here.  It was fun...early, but fun!  The kids have so much love and respect for Mita.  It really is beautiful to see.  Then we ate bread, eggs and buckeye cookies.  Those are peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate.  Not only am I tired right now, but my tummy is wondering what I could have possibly been thinking when I ate all that so early!

Happy Birthday to Sister Minerva!!  Please keep her in your prayers.  Thanks!!  xxoo 

Wednesday, November 25, 2015

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

For me, tomorrow is Thanksgiving... for those of you in the U.S., you have to wait another day and a half.  Last year I wrote about the Thanksgiving traditions of my family, namely the annual bowling outing started by my late maternal grandfather, Vincent Burkard.  And, of course, let's not forget about the Thanksgiving gumballs my sister sent with me to Africa.  As I recall, the cranberry sauce one was the best.  The roasted turkey one was the funniest!!  This year, I have a new story of thanksgiving for you, something that just happened today.

My father's mother, Josephine, was a very religious woman.  She was so sweet in her way of living... humming songs while doing work, writing notes about not forgetting to breathe to herself, giving to others so joyfully and always, always speaking of her love for her King.  You might be thinking that she was referring to her amazing husband, Bob, but you would be wrong.  Although Bob was the true love of her life, the true love of her heart was Jesus Christ, the King of Love.  Everything she did was for Him, and her simple and caring way of living reflected that love.  Josephine died on April 21, 2006 peacefully in her bed surrounded by her husband and her 8 children.

Josephine and Bob's youngest child was named John, my uncle and godfather.  John moved home for many months after my grandmother died to care for my grandfather.  John was a one-of-a-kind person.  I have met many caring and sensitive people in my life, but I think John was one of those extra special humans that go above and beyond normal caring.  He had a lot of his mother in him, I think.  John was raised Catholic, and although he did not practice the faith, he had genuine love for others in the way Jesus taught of.  John died nearly a year after his mother, on March 30, 2007 of a sudden heart attack at age 48.  He is monumentally missed! 

My grandfather requested a mass said for John after he died, and my brother, a new priest at the time, said the mass and asked me to read the first reading.  I didn't want to do it.  I thought I would cry through the whole thing.  But Mark told me just to read it slowly, say a prayer before I read it and it will be fine.  I remember asking my grandmother for strength.  I got through it, but I will never, ever forget that reading.  In fact, although it is one of the most beautiful passages in the bible in my opinion, it is never easy for me to read it.  I usually always say a prayer asking my grandmother to give me strength to read it.  It usually makes me tear up to read it.

Well, today, during morning prayer, I read the reading, and it was the passage I read at John's mass, Romans 8:35-39...

"What will separate us from the love of Christ?  Will anguish or distress, or persecution or famine, or nakedness or peril, or the sword?  ... For I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor present things nor future things nor powers nor height nor depth nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ our Lord."

When I saw this and realized I would have to read it, I thought again, I won't be able to read this without crying... so I asked my grandmother for strength.  And I read it, thinking of my uncle and his loving ways... of God and His merciful heart and of my grandmother and her unconditional love.   And I continued to think especially of my grandmother all day.

It so happens that I received three packages from home today.  One from my mother containing Christmas and birthday presents with a note with instructions not to open until the respective days... and I didn't open them, yet, one package from  my sister Margaret, containing the same, but with no instructions, so I opened them, :), and one package from my sister Linda.  Linda sent me my grandmother Josephine's rosary.  A few weeks ago, she never could have guessed that today of all days I would be in what my Uncle John would call a "blue funk", feeling sad and missing him and my grandmother.  Never in my wildest dreams would I think she would send me such a treasure... I didn't even know she had it.  It is a blue rosary made of thick yarn that she used to wear around her wrist, and the yarn is blackened in places testifying to the constant praying she must have done.  What a balm to my saddened heart this was!!

So, this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for my grandmother who gave all of my family a beautiful example of how to live life lovingly, I am thankful for my Uncle John whose respect and care for each person he encountered was evident in his demeanor and the way he treated us, I am thankful for all of my family and for Linda who didn't have to give up such a treasure, and I am thankful to God for His Guiding Holy Spirit who knows what we need before we even have an inkling we need it.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!!  Enjoy your families and your meal, togetherness with joy. xxoo

Monday, November 23, 2015

Lizell Jane

So, Mary Jane arrived safely to Borongan, thanks be to God!  It was wonderful to see her here, and it is so wonderful to see how much she means to everyone here.  Some people see her, smile, go in for a hug and burst into tears with joy that she came back.  The children, the coworkers, the sisters, the scholars... they all love her so much and the love Mary Jane has for them is evident in her caring eyes and beautiful smile. 

Each day, it seems, special things are planned for us to do.  Today, Monday, we were going up north to a resort to spend two days resting and bonding with the sisters as they played host to sisters from a high school in Cebu who were administering an entrance exam to poor students in Eastern Samar for scholarships to their school.  It was to be a relaxing, swim-filled, fun-filled couple of days... was to be.  But, something happened on the way to the resort.

We took two cars there, one held the sisters from Cebu and Sisters Minerva and Ethel and was driven by Joey, one of our coworkers.  I was in the other car with Sisters Clarissa, Aileen and Michelle and Mary Jane.  We were laughing and telling stories, when about 2 hours into our journey we got a message... the other car hit a child.  You can probably imagine our anxiety and worry over the circumstances of the event, and how the child was, how Joey was. 

To make a long story short, our car went to the hospital where the girl was taken to see about her injuries while the other car was taken to the police station to file a police report and wait while an investigation into the accident was being done.  Mary Jane and I waited at a nearby church, out of the way of the working sisters, worrying over the situation and doing some bonding ourselves. 

Here is what happened...

---Joey was driving down a main road in a town called Taft when he passed a tricycle.  He saw a little girl on the side of the road, but she was playing with some stones or something.  All of the sudden, she darts out across the street and Joey is unable to avoid hitting her.  However, instead of hitting her head on, which probably would have killed her, his reflexes were in tip-top shape and he quickly turned the wheel, slammed on the breaks and must have knocked her down with the corner of the car.  She had abrasions on her face and needed a few stitches on her forehead, and a big bruise along her right side.  It was a horrific experience for Joey, and he felt guilty and so bad for hitting her, but he was not found at fault at all as a result of the investigation, which is absolutely right.  He will definitely need some time to recover from this, though.

Here are some amazing facts...

--- Sister Minerva swears she saw a young boy holding this little girl's hand, although she admits she only got a quick glance at the girl, and Joey only saw the girl, Lizell Jane.

---Later, when asked, the girl said she was playing on the roadside when someone told her to cross the road right now, although no one was near her, which is why she ran.

---Lizell, who is 6 years old, has 2 younger siblings and is being raised by her great grandmother.  Her mother abandoned the family and her father sometimes sends them money from Manila, but it is not something the family can rely on.  They are extremely poor and in need of help.  When the great grandmother was called to the scene and saw the sisters, she begged Sister Minerva not to abandon them.

---Although the police and bystanders can be brutal to people who are in accidents such as this one, the police were very helpful and sympathetic to the situation.  They said they could see Joey's sincerity and remorse and were impressed that Sisters Clarissa, Aileen and Michelle were already at the hospital taking care of and responsibility for the girl.  The police were helpful and kind to the Oikos Sisters. 

---Behind Joey's car was a shuttle bus heading north that had room to take the Cebu sisters to the northern towns for the tests, and with a single phone call, Sister Minerva made arrangements for the sisters to be taken to the other towns and accommodations for the night at a rectory.

---Sister Aileen knew the hospital supervisor where the little girl was and, upon hearing the story, the supervisor said all of the bills incurred at the hospital would be taken care of.

---Sister Clarissa had to find an ambulance to bring the girl to the Borongan hospital.  When she asked someone at the church we waited at about the availability of a town ambulance, she did not get a favorable reply.  However, an ambulance was readily available to transport the child, and Sister Aileen, a trained nurse, accompanied her and her great grandmother in the ambulance.

---While at the hospital attending to Lizell, the sisters met a mother whose 3 month old baby daughter had just died of a seizure.  They took the time to comfort the mother and pray with her over the child.  They were so compassionate and loving to this mother who was in so much grief. 

So, we thought we were heading north to help out some sisters from Cebu and to take a little time for ourselves, but God had other plans.  I truly believe this is a case of Divine Intervention.  The sisters are so in tune with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I honestly believe He guided them today. 

Here was a family on the verge of destitution, possibly worse, a great grandmother in serious need of assistance, and what I am absolutely convinced is an answer to a desperate prayer by God.  Unfortunately, especially for this little girl and Joey, help came from a traumatic experience, but I can think of no other way Oikos would have encountered this family to help them.

Do you believe in angels?  I do.  I believe an angel moved this girl into action, an angel helped Joey react quickly to avoid seriously hurting her, and the Holy Spirit guided the Oikos Sisters to be in Taft at that exact moment and open their hearts to Lizell and her family.

My plans have once again been changed and something I was looking forward to was taken away, but in the face of all that happened today, as a bystander, I can only stand in awe of the power of God and the faith of the Oikos Sisters as they live every minute for God.  More and more, I find myself letting go of the things concerning me.  I am reminded of something John the Baptist said after encountering Christ, "He must increase; I must decrease." John 3:29.  He is indeed increasing in me. 

Please pray for Lizell, her family, Joey and his recovery, the mother who lost her baby today and for all of us living in the Oikos community.  Thank you!!  xxoo

Thursday, November 19, 2015

The Eye of the Beholder

The other day, Sister Aileen and I walked from the Cathedral to her home in Hin Dang after 5am mass.  It seems we are always driving everywhere and I cannot tell you how many times I have wanted to ask whoever was driving to stop so I could get out and enjoy the view.  I mean, God gave us such a beautiful world... we would be remiss if we didn't stop and enjoy it.  Too bad every time we are in the car, it seems, we are on our way to feed people, teach people, give people piglets, etc.  My desire for enjoying the beauty of the Philippines is a little further down on the list!  However, in walking home from mass, about an 8 kilometer walk, I got to really  enjoy the scenery around me.

My absolute favorite views are from the bridges... and Borongan has tons of bridges.  The rippling water in constant motion, the bright colored fishing boats decorating the sea, the white frothiness from the ocean waves, the dark green leaves of the banana and coconut trees framing the waterways, the mountains looming in the distance... it is always a sight that takes my breath away.  I enjoy the glances I get from inside the car, but to stop on our walk and get an eye-ful of beauty... I couldn't even talk to Sr. Aileen during those moments that my gaze was drinking in the sight.  And yet...

And yet there are these homes built on the water, built there because the home owners have no money to afford land.  So the homes are built on stilts and have homemade bridges connecting the homes to the stable land.  The bridges are made of coconut tree trunks and look like a 5 year old's weight would make them collapse.  I walked on one once and although they are stronger than they appear, I trepidasiously crossed the bridge saying lots of Hail Mary's!
 
Sometimes I comment on the beauty surrounding us... the ocean and rivers (Borongan has three rivers running through it), the mountains and hills, all of the colors and shapes that make up this Filipino landscape.  To me, all I see is loveliness.  But the other day, after commenting on the beauty and not hearing an immediate response about it, I began thinking of what these people see when they look at the land and the water; these people who have been through 2 devastating typhoons in the past two years.  When they look at the glistening, foaming ocean are they filled with awe at the vastness of the sea connecting the world together, do they feel the peacefulness the water brings as the tides roll in and out, do they see beauty in the way the ocean mirrors the sky and adds to the overall awesomeness of the sight?  Or are they filled with anxiety and fear at the death and destruction the monstrous waves can bring when being driven by the fierce winds of a typhoon.  When they look at the mountains, do they see the majesty in their height and feel protected by the stability of their stance, do they spend long moments trying to make out each coconut tree dotting the slopes of the hills as I do?  Or are they reminded of life taking landslides, cutting off help in the form of people and supplies to their towns?  When they feel a cool breeze interrupting a sweltering afternoon or hear the pounding of the rain on their homes in one of the many storms that pass through during the days, are they appreciative of the cool gift of refreshment or are they counting the minutes to see if more stable shelter should be sought out?

They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, that each of us, depending on our experiences, sees the world and its surroundings differently.   I wonder at the differences around me.  Not only of the color of my skin, the way I talk, the way I dress even, but it goes still deeper into the way my brain processes what I see, feel and hear.  And I begin to wonder if my comments on the beauty surrounding me are not painful thorns in the memories of past tragedies of these strong, resilient people.  Or if commenting on the beauty of the sea without thought to the poor people who have no choice but to make the changeable, unstable sea the foundation of their homes isn't one of the worst things I could say.  When you know and have personally experienced the horrific tragedies of nature at its fiercest, can you ever appreciate, admire and love the same surroundings in calm moments?   Something to think about...

Certainly my outbursts of appreciation of my surroundings are immediate reactions to seeing something so beautiful I cannot believe my eyes, not attempts at causing painful memories to rise to the surface of people's consciousness.  But perhaps that is just what it does.  I never would have thought that expressing appreciation and awe over something breathtaking would be something I would have to think about before giving voice to it... but I find my mind opening more and more to the sensitivities to those around me.  Is that good or overthinking it? 

By the way... I've got some totally good news!!  My American missionary friend, Mary Jane Trinkus, who was planning to come to the Philippines a little while ago but couldn't, is on her way here right now!!!  She is coming unfortunately without her husband, Vic, but I am so excited for her visit, as is everyone here!!  Mary Jane is a long-time missioner to the Oikos Community and there are not many people in Borongan who do not know her.  We are all like WOOT! WOOT! 

I have to also tell you that Mary Jane and her husband Vic just received the St. Francis Xavier Award for their missionary work from their Diocese, the Diocese of Joliet in Illinois, and the awards were presented by none other than Tom and Paula Radel, my missionary heroes, who, by the way, also received this award from the Buffalo Diocese a few years ago.  See... I am surrounded by so many awesome people!!  Congratulations to  Mary Jane and Vic Trinkus!!  I hope some of Mary Jane's awesomeness rubs off on me while she is here.  I am told that from the time Mary Jane wakes up in the morning, she is on the go, on the move, searching out people to help, and goes until she drops at night.  I hope she gives me a little time to keep you informed of what we are doing!!  Please pray for a safe journey and visit for Mary Jane.  Thanks!! xxoo 

Divine Communication

Often times I have heard or read that the bible has no use in today's society, that it was written centuries ago for people of a different time and has no relevance today.  The readings of the past few days blow that theory right out of the water as we read about the persecutions that were inflicted on the Jewish people even before the birth of Christ.  In the past few years, I have really begun to pay close attention to the readings at mass, even to read them before mass so that during the Liturgy of the Word I could meditate more deeply on God's message to me.

This time of year, as the Church year comes to a close before Advent, the Church focuses attention on the end of days.  In her wisdom, the Church recognizes the importance of looking forward and anticipating where we will be on Judgment Day... where will we be sent?  And the reason for this is that today, as long as we are breathing and our heart is beating, it is not too late to change our ways to stack the deck in favor of us going to heaven, or at least to purgatory.  In a "Christmas Carol"-like manner, we are given the opportunity to look at our lives, where we have been, where we are, where we are headed and make the appropriate changes, but with the help of priests and religious hopefully, not with ghosts!!  The readings at mass reflect the Church's mission and when you attend mass daily or read the readings of the mass each day, you can easily see the wisdom and relevance of the bible today.

Over the past few days, we have been reading from the Book of Maccabees.  This has been the week's succession...

Monday:   1Macabees 1:10-15, 41-43, 54-57, 62-63
 Synopsis:  Antiochus Epiphanes becomes king and is seduced by some evil people to destroy the covenants with God, to turn his back on his religion and to cunningly encourage his people to do the same.  Many in Israel begin to turn away from God and worship idols, destroy scrolls of the faith and sell themselves into wrong doing.  This transformation of evil is done in such a seductive, sly manner that people do not even realize it is wrong.  Those who opposed this transformation were threatened, but many preferred to die than to turn their backs on the Lord.

Tuesday:  2Macabees 6:18-31
 Synopsis:  Eleazar, one of the elder scribes is being forced to eat meat forbidden to his faith.  Rather than succomb, he decides to stand firm in his promises to the Lord.  He is even given a way out by some of the guards who like him... sneak in meat you can eat and pretend it is pork, then you will be saved.  Eleazar however realizes that not only would he be turning his back on the Lord by lying and giving into hypocrasy, he also is thinking about how this action would affect the youth who are tuned into the happenings.  He would be leading them into a life of lying or worse, so he remains firm in his faith and is killed, along with many others, for not following the king. 

Wednesday: 2Macabees 7:1, 20-31
 Synopsis:  A mother and her seven sons are on trial for refusing to deny their God.  In succession, each son is killed by order of the king after pledging allegegiance to the One True God.  The passages between today's reading, verses 2 through 19 are very detailed as to how each son was killed... too detailed for my sensitive heart, although I do remember hearing it read at mass one Sunday quite a few years ago... that is a testiment to how descriptive the reading is, usually on Tuesday I cannot remember the weekend's Gospel!!  But this passage from 2Macabees shows how horrible the times were then for the Jewish people who remained faithful to their God.

Let's see now... people being forced to turn their backs on their faith to appease a corrupt ruler, good and honest people being seduced to evil in cunning and attractive ways, faith-filled people being killed for their religion... no relevance in today's world... are you kidding?

The first connection my brain made with these readings and our world today was the abominable attack by Isis in France, and memories of our country's own attack 14 years ago.  My heart bleeds for the French people, all of the loss they have suffered and the fear they must be living in.  But then I began thinking of how many terrorist groups use the internet to seduce young innocents to join their misguided, evil cause.  Next, I thought of the health care plan created by President Obama and the loss of religious freedoms in America.  But you could go on throughout our history as a species and find many travisites that have occurred that mirror these horrid biblical events. 

We call our modern world "enlightened,"  we believe we are smarter than our ancestors with all of our gadgets and gizmos that appear to simplify our lives and make us more intelligent, but the truth is that while the physical world has changed much since the book of Macabees was written, human beings and our war between good and evil has not.  That is why the bible has such strong relevance today.  That is why we can prayerfully open our bibles and find answers that help us live in today's world.  That is why each one of us should take the time to read our bibles for answers, guidance, support and hope. 

Our God loves us and wants to communicate with us.  He has not forgotten us, has not turned His back on us... He has given us a tool through which He speaks to us.  And just like walking and texting at the same time (which I cannot do, by the way), using the Bible as a means to communicate with God takes time and practice. 

This is how I use it... please keep in mind that I am a total amateur and sort of a novice at this, and with time you will find your own way to pray using the Bible...

First, I close my eyes and put myself in the presence of the Lord.  I praise God and ask Him to speak to me through His Holy Word, assuring Him that I will accept the answer He gives, even if it's not the one I'm looking for.  Then I sit for a few minutes and think about what is foremost on my mind.
Next, with my eyes still closed, I open my Bible and begin reading at the first place my eyes touch.  I read until something strikes me, usually it doesn't take long.  Many times the asnwer I am seeking is in the first few lines I read.  After reading it over a few times, I close my eyes again and meditate on what I read and how it relates to my life, to my problems.  Last, I give thanks to God for taking the time to work within me, to console and answer me. 

Even though sometimes it seems like it, it is not magic or a trick, but almost every time I have approached reading the Bible in this manner, I have received the anwer I was looking for.  God longs for us to turn to Him.  How many times do we read in the psalms at mass about calling out to the Lord, about the Lord answering my plea, about giving thanks to the Lord for coming to my aid.  Well, this is one way that He does it.

You may be wondering why I am writing about this in my missionary blog...  Well, it was my decision, after being invited by the Oikos Sisters, to come to the Philippines, and to come for a long time, 6 months, alone.  Unlike my other mission trips, this one differes greatly because, having no missionary counterpart, I have no one to vent to really, no one to comiserate with me or who really understands the hardships of going from the first world to the third right here with me.  There is no one familiar with me to really open my heart to and let it cry a little... or a lot.  That is why I have turned to God for my venting partner, my sounding board and for little pick-me-ups and strength.  And He has come through for me... amazingly.  I know He will for you too. 

I believe this is how we truly become enlightened... literally and figuatively.  This is how we become saved!  xxoo

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Hin Dang

The Oikos Community has several homes that were donated to them where they live and work. The office, called McGuire, was their first home.  Now, although there are some
co-workers who stay there, it is used for work.  There is a community computer there where the students can do their research and reports on, the Livelihood and Education
Departments are centered there and the sisters have an office within the office where they have meetings and conduct the day to day business of running a mission.  I usually go to
McGuire each weekday when I am not on the move with one or more of the sisters.  I assist the Livelihood team with their office work there and work on a few other projects.  
Nazareth Home is just down the street from McGuire.  That is where I usually sleep during the week.  I live there with one of the sisters and 4 or 5 scholars.  I wrote a blog about
my home there with pictures entitled My Home Away From Home.  If you didn't read it yet, you can check it out.  Providence Home is in a barrio called Sohouton.  It is located in a
more rural setting than the other homes, with gardens and lots of trees surrounding it.  There are about 20 people living here including the elementary and high school students,
scholars, some of the mothers and sisters.  I stay here on the weekends with the residents of Nazareth Home.  We attend mass in the barrio's church most weekends and have a
bible sharing on Sundays with the mothers who live in Sohouton.  It was this home that sustained the most damage during the flood of Typhoon Ruby and where the sisters and their
charges were in the attic during the storm.  Up until this week, these were the residences that I have been to.  There are two more, the retired priest's home and Hin Dang.  This
week, I am staying at Hin Dang with Sister Aileen and about 13 girls, mostly scholars, one high school student and 2 grade schoolers.

Hin Dang is actually the name of the barrio the house is in, but everyone just calls the house that.  It is the furthest from the other homes.  It has a little living room with a community
computer, three bedrooms upstairs, although one of the rooms is a prayer room and a large bedroom downstairs.  In fact, when the girls were giving me a tour, they asked if it
reminded me of the house the 7 dwarves lived in... it really does!!  It's a cute home!  Outside in the back yard is the kitchen, eating area and laundry "room."  One of the girl's mother
also lives there with us, Nanay Irene.  (Nanay is the Waray waray word for mother, pronounced nienie)  She helps with all the chores that need to be done and offers great support
for all the kids there, as all the naynay's do . 

So, it was a different week for me, staying at a new place, getting to know the girls that live there, and working with Sister Aileen.  It kind of took me back emotionally to my first
week here with meeting new people and not knowing where anything is or how I can help.  But, thankfully I am a fast learner!!  The girls there are really sweet, very supportive of
each other and happy.  Something that I have discovered about the Filipino people in general is that they are pretty happy people.  Even if something is on their mind or if they have a
worry, the face they show to others is welcoming and bright.  That is true of the girls of Hin Dang as well.  They have the support of the Oikos Community, they eat, pray, sing, laugh
and cry together.  They are a beautiful family within the extended family of Oikos.

On Sunday we all went to 4:30pm mass ‌ in the barrio, Immaculate Mary church.  All of us girls and many children who live in the barrio stuffed ourselves into 3 tricycles and went to
church.  It was a children's mass boy did the children fill up the church!!  Their little voices singing the songs and saying the prayers was so sweet!  The Hin Dang girls did the
readings and sang in the choir.  Then after mass, we went home and Sister Aileen handed out allowances for the month to all of the barrio children who attended mass with us.  Even
when the children are not living in the Oikos homes, the sisters offer aid, support and love to them.  Truly, their generosity knows no bounds!

Monday was a regular "office day" for me, meeting with the Livelihood team, doing some computer work, etc.  On Tuesday, I traveled to the churches and schools in the northern
region of Eastern Samar to help deliver requirements and application for poor 6th graders  who have the opportunity to attend a Catholic boarding high school for free in Cebu.  The sisters are making sure every school in Eastern Samar is made aware of this opportunity.  Even when the aid is not coming from their own community, the sisters are always trying to help those in need.  Wow!  The scenery on the trip was amazing, and once again, I was introduced to many priests... as a sister of a priest, of course!!  The churches here are not entities unto themselves.  What I mean is that within the Diocese of Borongan, there are many parishes, just like in Buffalo. But unlike Buffalo, each parish has the responsibility of administering to not only their parish, but all of the barrios within the boundary of the parish.  In one church we visited, the parish had 42 barrios and only 4 priests there.  It boggles the mind!!

On Wednesday, I went with Sister Aileen to Bayobay.  It is a barrio close to Hin Dang that receives care from Oikos.  The sisters have formations and bible sharing there.  Sister Aileen is taking charge of a home building project with EDM, a charitable mission foundation run out of France.  EDM is supplying the materials for 24 families in Bayobay to have new homes and they are working with the Oikos Community and Sister Aileen in particular to do this.  On Wednesday all of the materials were delivered to the families so we went there to make sure that everything ran smoothly.  Once again, I had a sweet time with some children who were shy at first, then quickly became friends with me.  It was really cute!  The families all were so appreciative of the materials and the house building will begin on Monday.  Wednesday was also the birthday of Anabing, one of the girls at Hin Dang.  Sr. Aileen and I made pizza for the occasion!!  There are no ovens in any of the Oikos homes, but most have an open fire pit where you can grill, so we grilled homemade bread and made pizza.  It was a hit!!  Now I have requests for grilled pizza on Christmas!!

Thursday is always a bonding day for the Oikos Sisters.  After mass and breakfast ( and a brisk walk from the cathedral to Hin Dang, about 8 kilometers) Sr. Aileen and I went to Providence Home with the other sisters.  We had a holy hour and lunch, followed by a meeting for the sisters.  I gave me time to plan a religion class for Saturday, do some journaling and take a nap.  I was tired after that walk!!  Thursday night I facilitated a bible sharing with the Hin Dang girls.  Once again, after reading the Gospel for Sunday, the girls shared what they felt God was telling them through His Word.  And once again, I was completely humbled by the trials and tribulations these kids have been through in their short lives.  I only hope and pray that sharing their stories and letting go of some of the pain they have endured will lighten their load and bring them closer to God.

So, now it is Friday and I am back at McGuire.  I am playing hooky from doing work for Sr. Clarissa!!  (Ssshhh!!)  I have already unpacked my bags from my week at Hin Dang and repacked them for a weekend at Providence Home.  This, I am told, is the life of a missionary... always on the move, always flexible when it comes to plans and where you lay your head at night and always thankful to God for His providence.

Just a few cute things from Hin Dang...
--- Angel is 10 years old and is in my religion class on Saturdays.  She is also sleeping in my room with me.  Before sleeping, she requests a story about Jesus.  Today, she asked Sr. Aileen how many days until I return there... super sweet!!  I will be spending the second week of each month I am here at Hin Dang and lead the bible sharing that week.
---Angel also has homework in English that I have been helping her with.  She had to find the proper verb to fit in the sentence.  They were the craziest sentences I ever heard of and many times no verb they gave made no sense in the sentence.  The girls were laughing because Angel got one question wrong... and she told the teacher I was helping her!  I actually was shocked that she only got one wrong!!   
---The Hin Dang home has a watch dog named Charik.  He is a pretty smallish dog who thinks he is much bigger than reality!  In the mornings when we are waiting for a tricycle to pick us up for mass (at 4:30 in the morning) Charik paces in front of us and growls ferociously at any dog that even walks across the street from us.  One day, he is going to meet a dog meaner and bigger than him, and then he will be in real trouble!!  Charik also is the first one in the prayer room when the prayer bell is wrung.  Sr. Aileen jokes that Charik will be the first vocation from Hin Dang!  He does love and protect his girls!!

It was a great week with my new friends at Hin Dang.  I am looking forward to my next visit!!  It seems every week I am learning new ways the Oikos Sisters are helping others.  I would almost have a hard time believing it if I wasn't here witnessing it for myself. 

Just one other thing... the Charik vocation thing was a joke, but it is no joke that the Oikos Sisters do need vocations.  I am not sure where God is leading me here, but I do pray daily for vocations for Oikos so that their work can continue here in the Philippines.  Please pray for vocations!!  Thanks!! xxoo

Thoughts on Discernment

Did you ever go into one of those "fun houses" at a carnival?  It is full of twists and turns, many doors that lead no where and only one that leads somewhere... usually the place it leads is another trick, like a room full of mirrors that distort your size and shape.  Personally, I never considered "fun houses" fun.  I was always frustrated by them, and a little scared. 

Is it totally bad that I consider my discernment process a carnival fun house??  I feel like I have been down hallways full of wrong ways, opened doors expecting to find Jesus, only to bump into brick walls and feel I have a very distorted view of reality when it comes to my future.  Needless to say, I am frustrated... and a little scared.

Today is one year exactly to the day that I left with Mary Clare for Africa.  I had planned to stay there for one year.  This very day would have been the day I returned to Buffalo after my year there.  God had other plans.  And although I know and understand that, even though I say and feel that I am in God's hands, it still hurts.  Not a single day has gone by since February that I have not thought of those children in Ghana with love and longing.  And yet I know that I am not supposed to be there.  It is a very confusing and painful.  Today was a sorrowful day for me.

Sorrow and pain are a part of life, this life anyways.  Joy and happiness are too.  I am remembering a song we used to sing in church at weekday masses in elementary school.  I don't remember all of the words, but the point of the song was that without pain the joy in life won't show.  You can't really know true happiness and joy until you have experienced true sorrow and pain.  The lives of the saints are filled with sorrow, pain, confusion, wrong turns, distorted views and road blocks.  But the reason they became saints is because they allowed God to enter into their beings and guide them home to heaven, to the joy that lasts eternally.

For years my parents had a painting of Jesus in their bedroom.  In the painting, Jesus was standing at a door and knocking on it.  The only problem was there was no doorknob, so He couldn't enter.  The painting suggests that Jesus wants to enter into our lives, but as we have free will, we have to be the ones to open the door to Him and let Him in.  He wants in... He wants to love and guide us, if only we choose to let Him. 

I have let Jesus into my life, into my heart... but 100%... apparently not.  That is why I am figuratively standing in front of another door afraid that when I open it there will be another brick wall and I will get hurt...again. 

The following is a meditation written by Cardinal Newman given to me by a very good friend.  It is really meaningful and has been helpful to me.  I hope it may be for you or someone you know too.  No matter what is thrown in my path He is in control and loves me enough not to let me suffer in vain.  This is what it means to trust God 100%.   I'm not there yet, but I hope to be. 

 
A Meditation
God has created me to do Him some definite service; He has committed some work to me which He has not committed to another. i have my mission - - I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. 
I am a link in a chain, a bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for nothing. I shall do good, I shall do His work.
Therefore I will trust Him. Whatever, wherever I am. I cannot be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him; if I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends, He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me - - still He knows what He is about.
Cardinal Newman
 
xxoo

Saturday, November 7, 2015

Thoughts on Gratitude

We all have things that we take for granted.  Things and people that seem to have always been there and we think they always will, that are so familiar to us that we forget to be grateful for them.  I know I definitely do.  I have been doing missionary work for about a year and a half now, and there are many things that I took for granted that are no longer a part of my life.  And while I am not sad for the loss of these things, I just wanted the opportunity to acknowledge them and take a moment to belatedly be grateful for them.

1) I never really thought to be grateful for masses said in English.  Almost every church in the United States has masses said in English.  What's the big whip?  The big whip is that I am in a foreign country now and most masses are said in the vernacular, Waray waray.  Now, one of the most beautiful things about the Catholic Church is that you can go to any church anywhere in the world and celebrate the sacrifice of Christ and receive Him, body, blood, soul and divinity in any language.  But, now that I cannot attend many masses in English, I realize how much I took it for granted.  And when I think of the times I was bored or distracted during masses, Oh my, I am so sorry for that.  Especially when I think of the many barrios where mass is only celebrated once a year here.  There are Catholics who only attend mass once or twice a year, but that is generally their decision... their loss.  But these people do not have a choice.  Mass in any language is beautiful, but mass in your native tongue is personal, and you just can't top that!

2) Get Up and Go... While working in the missions, I haven't been able to just get in my car and go for a ride, see where the road takes me and stop wherever I want.  I used to do that a lot, but I don't think I ever really appreciated the freedom to do that.  Not only that, but making and completing lists.  Who in their right mind would be grateful for lists??  Well, I am!  I'm not talking about cleaning the bathroom lists, I'm speaking of shopping lists, friends to visit lists, food to make lists.  Now I just help to complete other people's lists!  And that is great, it's what I am here for and I am so happy to be doing that, but I don't think I ever appreciated the freedom to make my own list and the ability to complete it.

3)  Friends and Family... Did you ever have the nudging to visit family or friends, the yearning to see them but time got away from you, things took over your mind and that visit or phone call never happened?  Used to happen to me a lot.  I definitely took for granted the fact that most of my family was within 45 minutes of where I was living and I could see them anytime I wanted to.  And all of them were in my time zone, so calling them was no problem at all.  Yet weeks would go by with no visit or call from me.  What was I thinking?  Now I am half way around the world from them, with a 13 hour time difference and I can't visit them, and calling not only requires a lot of thought (many apologies to Tom Radel who I often text at 3pm, my time, without thought to what time it is in Buffalo!!!) but it is also expensive. 

I don't mean to sound like a curmudgeon.  I am grateful for many things and appreciative to God for many blessings.  But there are certain things that I know I took advantage of before.  I am not sorry for the loss of them now... I am so happy to be here in the Philippines.  But I am sorry that I didn't appreciate them when I had them.  There are many things here that I hope I never take advantage of, things like

1)  The sweetness of the Oikos Sisters.  Each of them has been so welcoming and warm to me, doing special things for me or making sure I am safe and comfortable, sneaking me little treats or taking me to beautiful places.  And it is not just me.  I have witnessed many visitors coming into their mission and homes who receive the same treatment, it is just who they are: extra special bearers of God's love for the world.  I hope I never take for granted the kindnesses and sweetness of the sisters, in fact, I hope it rubs off on me!!

2)  The beauty of my surroundings... Each morning when I wake up I am surrounded by natural beauty, whether it is the gardens of Providence Home, the river at Nazareth Home or the faces of the beauties at Hin Dong!  Each one inspires me to take a deep breath and say I can't believe I get to be here!  Sometimes we get up at 4am to go to work in barrios and as we pass the sunrise over the ocean, well,the sight just takes my breath away.  Whether it is the tall coconut trees with their halos of leafy green fans surrounding the coconut or the fluffy conglomerations of clouds, the flowing rivers or the mighty mountains, everywhere I look I am surrounded by beautiful sights.  I hope I never get used to it, that I never pass the unbelievably beautiful flora and fauna, the ocean and rivers, the daytime or night sky here without giving thanks to God for the artistry of His creation. 

3)  Not a day has gone by that I have not been filled with awe at the generosity of the Oikos Sisters.  With their feeding programs, livelihood programs,  religious formations, construction mission,  scholar programs, medical and dental care, they reach more people than anyone I have ever known.  Their giving seems to know no bounds and the fact that I can be here and help them, little as it may be, fills me with a kind of joy I have never felt before.  I hope I never get used to it, that the joy I feel in being a part of things here and the joy I see reflected in the faces of those people we help never becomes commonplace. 

I think you have to work at not taking things for granted.  And the way I think you do that is by giving thanks to God for every. little. thing.  Because, the truth is, it all comes from Him.  All of the little surprises that brighten up our day, all of the big things that transform our lives, all of it is blessings from God.  As I said, I am not mournful of the things  I used to have or took part in, and as I consider missionary work for my life's work, there may be very little of the things I used to be able to do with much ease available to me.  But there is no statute of limitations on gratitude.  So as I look back on the blessings I have had in the past, I give thanks, and as I look at my present life, the new experiences and my new surroundings, I give thanks. 

I could go on with the list of things I don't want to take for granted, but I came here to be a worker, not a writer, so I better get back to it!  Just wanted to share my thoughts today.  Perhaps it'll help you too!!  xxoo 

Christmas Already?? With Good Reason Here...

Just as in the United States, Christmas is beginning to be seen and heard here in the Philippines.  It is about three weeks until Advent begins, and there are stores with Christmas decorations, Christmas music on the radio and commercials and shows about Christmas on the television, even some homes already twinkling the Christmas spirit.  I am sure it will be in full swing before long.  Just about everyone I have told that I will be here until February has, after a moment of thinking, excitedly said, "You will be here for Christmas!!"  I have heard stories about the 4am Christmas novena at the Cathedral (that's right, I said 4am... these people LOVE getting up at the crack of dawn!!), Christmas caroling, visiting poor barrios on Christmas day, and more.  But there is a good reason, I think, for all of the early Christmas craze here.

I have never been one to want to hear Christmas music or see anything Christmas until at least after Thanksgiving, but even a week or two before Christmas would be better!  My Grandmother told me that as a child, they never saw their decorated Christmas tree until Christmas morning, and she continued that tradition for her own family.  My grandparents would go to midnight mass on Christmas, then come home to decorate the tree and the house, prepare for the morning and eat a early morning Christmas breakfast (like Filipino early!!)  Then they would go to sleep for a few hours until their children awoke excitedly in the morning.  In my own home, my mother would begin decorating for Christmas around the middle of December and we would get our tree a few days before Christmas.  Everyone has their own way of preparing for and celebrating Christmas.  This year, the young children, scholars and adults alike are all super excited about celebrating Christmas... and it has nothing to do with me!!

Two years ago, on November 8th, Typhoon Yolanda hit in the southern part of Samar.  That is a few hours from here, but Borongan felt the effects of the powerful super typhoon and suffered after it hit as well.  There was no power for most of Samar that year until about early January, that included December 25th.  Not only was the power out, but the homes here suffered damage, and many, many people suffered losses of family members, property, and possessions.  December 25th came that year, as it always does, and was observed with mass, but there were no celebrations.  The work that needed to be done within the Oikos community and especially in barrios to the south, elapsed all celebrations. 

One year ago, in early December, typhoon Ruby hit.  Most of the Oikos homes were flooded and there was so much damage and destruction here in Borongan, including another Christmas with no power.  Not only that, but the sisters and the children and mothers they care for were all living in my current house, Nazareth Home.  It was crowded and noisy all the time, so I am told, and dark!.  With so much work to be done and so many hardships not only in Oikos, but in all the homes around Borongan, another Christmas went by without a celebration. 

So I would imagine you can understand the excitement here about Christmas!  Everyone, from the young children to the oldest folks here are keeping their fingers crossed and their prayers storming heaven that no typhoon comes so that the traditional Christmas festivities that I have heard so much about will happen this year.  The rains have begun, as it is November and we are well into the rainy season now, it does not stop the hustle and bustle of life here, but typhoons do.  Please join your prayers with ours that there will be no Typhoon Grinch to take the festivities and merriment of Christmas away.  You know, for some people, just saying the word "Christmas" brings a twinkle to their eyes... the kids' eyes here are twinkling with hope.  I hope nothing comes along to take that twinkle away!!

On a side note, never before in my life have I ever heard frogs croak as loudly as they do here.  I wish I had a tape recorder so you could hear them.  It is almost obnoxious! At Providence Home, especially in the quiet of the night, the unbelievably loud chorus of croaking and ribbiting is like listening to an orchestra of first-time musicians trying to play Beethoven... it just doesn't gel with the night music of the crickets and other night creatures that make their soothing noises outside while I am safe from them inside.  It is pretty funny, for about 2 minutes, then I want them to stop so I can sleep!!  xxoo

Thursday, November 5, 2015

Two Months!!!

Wow!  Can you believe I have been here for two months??  I can't!  It has really gone by super fast thanks to all of the different work and activities the Oikos Sisters are involved in. 

This month I have felt much more "at home" here and am beginning to find my place and my speed.  It's always funny when I recognize myself thinking, "so good to be home" when I return to the house I'm living in.  You know, that deep breath of relaxation you expel when you return to the comfort and security of your home.  It's funny, and sweet, and strange... but I'm so glad for it!!

I am really beginning to get to know all the kids here.  I am enjoying the time I get to spend with them and seeing how their gifts and talents are really being put to use here in the Oikos Community.  Each one of them has been so welcoming and sweet to me.  As I am becoming more familiar with my surroundings and opening up more and more, they are too with me, and even though they are shy with speaking English and I am shy with using my newly learned language, Waraywaray, so we can bond over our shyness!!  Really, though, from Abby up to the oldest scholars, this is really a great group of kids and I am so blessed to know them.

Probably the best part of this month was the immersion.  Imagine if "Survivor" was rated G with lots of charismatic prayer, singing and happiness...that was what immersion was like.  As I said in my blog about it, we did have really good shelters to sleep in and the weather was beautiful the whole weekend,  we definitely received some lovin' from the Lord.  But setting aside everything to go and spend a weekend with people living in a poor barrio, giving them food, clothes, snacks, religious formation, movies, music, mass, prayers, doctors, a dentist, medications, opening the doors to the scholar and livelihood programs...how can you possibly top that??? 

Here is a photo journal of the highlights of the month:
 
 
Immersion Fun:

 

 
We visited St. Anthony's Church in Guiuan.  It is a "pilgrim church" where people who are suffering, having surgeries or have special intentions travel to all throughout Samar.



There is construction going on in the church from typhoon damage, but the altar is beautiful with a carving of the last supper in it.
 
This is a view across from St. Anthony's Church.  No fooling.  It's that beautiful!!

 
Any room on that bus for me?? Doesn't look like it!!

 
The Oikos Sisters were donated land in Borongan far from any waterways.  They are planning to build a Charity Village where poor people who cannot afford land can have a home.  The following pictures are of the land the sisters will begin working on.  Is there no end to the awesome things these sisters can do?  Praise God!!




 
A trip to San Gabriel with some of the scholars.  And a little photo shoot!!


 
Immersion selfie with a cutie!


 
It always amazes me... the contrast between the beauty of the Philippines and the devastation of poverty found here.  I don't think I'll ever get used to it.


 
Delivering piglets with the Livelihood Team.  What a noisy day that was!!


 
A trip to Cagbonga, a nearby barrio where we fed the people physically and spiritually.  Fun day!




 
Here I am with Fr. Ben, who has generously donated (with the help of his parish, which is in the U.S.) the funds for another barrio feeding for us to do before Christmas with his parish. 
 Salamat, Padre!

 
The little baby in this picture had the cutest, chubbiest feet!!




Benedict and I made floral arrangements for All Saints Day and All Souls Day.
 

 
These are the shops that set up across from the cemeteries on Nov. 1st and 2nd.

 
Visiting the deceased family members of Sister Clarissa...







And Sister Minerva...





 
A Chapel in Borongan Catholic Cemetery... I could've spent hours in this peaceful place!


 
Playing with bubbles in my room in Providence Home with Abby.  She caught more than I did!
 


 
All in all, I have to say that it has been an amazing two months in the Philippines.  I am really enjoying the people, the scenery, the food, and most importantly helping the Oikos Community help the least among them.
 
I have put my life and my heart in God's hands.  I trust that He will lead me to where I can serve Him most fully.  Thank you for your prayers for the past two months.  Please keep them coming!  And know that you are in mine. 
 
I know I have said this before, but never in my wildest imaginations would I ever have guessed that I would be a missionary, living, temporarily for now, in the Philippines, working with a community of sisters and feeling more joy than I ever have before.  There is sadness too, and difficulties, but the underlying feeling I have every day is joy.
 
You just never know what God has in store for you...isn't that exciting???
 
xxoo

Monday, November 2, 2015

Halloween in the Philippines

Well, actually, in the Philippines, Halloween isn't celebrated. ((Psych!!))  Something my mother would gladly embrace as she always disliked Halloween... the costumes, all the candy, the intense sugar highs and sugar crashes of 8 children arguing over candy and costumes. But I think it was the origins of the holiday my mother most disliked, and the fact that witches, ghosts and goblins are celebrated when, in actuality, our faith does not believe in any of it.  It is funny that in stores here I saw pumpkin pails and decorations for Halloween being sold, but I think that is just the naughty influence of America on the unassuming enterprises of the Philippines.  What is celebrated here, quite beautifully and universally is All Saints Day and All Souls Day.

Again, I turn to my youth for references... hope you don't mind.  On Halloween while I was in elementary school at St. Aloysius Gonzaga School in Buffalo, we would dress up as saints and go to mass at 7pm for the All Saints Day mass.  I remember dressing up in long dresses and veils as one saint or another and participating in the procession as the congregation sang out "Oh When the Saints Go Marching In."   After the mass there was a social in the cafeteria, but you had to pass through the Haunted Hallway before getting your treats in the cafeteria.  I think it was a way to combine the two celebrations, but thinking about it now, it is pretty funny to think of werewolves and witches jumping out at the little St. Francis' and St. Teresa's!!  Funny and a little deranged!!!  However, I don't remember any observances for All Souls Day.  Having participated in my first real celebration of these two great memorial observances that the Church designates for our beloved dead, I think the Philippines got this one right on the money!!

I've been hearing stories of these two days for a while now.  People talking about what they are going to do, or have done in the past, on these two days.  I just listened with a bit of unbelief and a great desire to experience it myself.  On All Saints and All Souls Days, the people of the Philippines travel to where their families are buried and visit the gravesites.  If you have family/friends buried in multiple cemeteries, you do a lot of traveling on these two days.  Families bring tents, as it is usually raining by November, food, chairs, drinks, candles, prayer books and can spend all day together at the cemetery praying, eating, remembering... and it can last well into the night.  In fact I have heard of people staying overnight in the cemeteries together.  Masses are celebrated there as well.  I even saw on the news that the bus stations have increased security because of the great number of people traveling over the next few days.

Well, it is just as I was told it would be.  We went to mass on Sunday morning to the Cathedral, then we went to a cemetery in Borongan where Sister Clarissa has some family members buried.  Along the roadside across from the cemetery were temporary shops set up especially for these two days.  There you could buy candles, flowers, food, drinks and more and children were selling candles as we entered the cemetery.  Sister Clarissa bought some and we put them alongside the graves of her family.  Yesterday, Benedict (one of the scholars) and I made 7 flower arrangements, so we brought two of them with us to leave with the lighted candles.  Then we prayed for the souls of the Sister Clarissa's family.  All around us were people surrounding the graves of their families and praying, talking and eating.  There is also a little place where you can light a candle for your family members whose graves are far away.  Sister was so thoughtful to give me a candle to light, which I especially lit for the deceased members of the Noonan and Burkard families. 

Later in the afternoon, we visited the graves of Sister Minerva's parents.  This cemetery was one in which the caskets are encased in cement and left above ground.  It is very different to see these structures, knowing that encased inside them are the remains of the dead.  Many of them have a roof on top of them, but they are not too high, so you have to watch your head as you are moving along in the crowded maze of tombs.  It sounds weird, but maze is the proper word for how we traveled through the cemetery.  Walking in-between and around graves in the growing darkness sounds a little spooky, but in reality, it was quite lovely with the soft glow of candles left on the graves by loved ones and the fresh scent of flowers which permeated the night air.  It was in this atmosphere that mass was said and it reminded me of masses said in the early church and in other times in our history where it was illegal to participate in a Catholic mass, so they were said in the catacombs in secret.  Sister Minerva and I sat on her grandparent's grave as mass was said, and I couldn't help but feel a little funny about sitting there, although many people were laying or sitting on the graves of their families as well.  After mass, we said prayers at the grave of Sister Minerva's parents and she told me a little about them.  It was a sweet moment.

The next day, All Soul's Day, we began the day at the cemetery where Sister Clarissa's mother is buried.  That cemetery was similar to the one we visited the night before, except it seemed more crowded by graves.  Slinking through tight spaces, I saw so many people at the graves of their loved ones, praying and sharing stories.  We said prayers with Sister Clarissa for her mother, grandparents and great-grand parents.  There is a beautiful chapel at this cemetery with a huge statue of the Pieta (my favorite statue) and a beautiful crucifix. Unfortunately, the typhoon did a great deal of damage to the chapel and it has not been repaired since.  It struck me as having a tragic beauty, though and I would have liked to have spent a few hours there in contemplation.  But instead, we had mass just outside the cemetery on the roadside.  We also attended one more mass at another cemetery, just as crowded by people remembering their loved ones. 

I do know a few people in my little circles who visit the graves of their loved ones, perhaps on birthdays, anniversaries or near holidays.  I myself never really did that at all until my nephew Benjamin died.  I do go to visit his grave on his birthday, near Christmas and in the spring to clean it up after the winter, but I do not think, other than the day he was buried, that there were other people there visiting their loved ones at the same time as me.  This celebration of All Saints and All Souls Day was so amazing because it seemed the world stopped for two days to remember deceased families and friends, to pray for their souls, to take time out to actually visit the gravesides.  I think this is exactly what the Church intended when it set aside these two special days that, at least in America, are largely overlooked and forgotten, perhaps like the loved ones we have buried.
In my reading today it says, "Today we intercede with particular fervor for all souls who await their final glorification.  This is our gift and our responsibility as members of the family, the one Body of Christ.  Love of neighbor is not limited to our neighbors who are still among us.  Love unites us with those who have gone before us.  Indeed, it is a great act of charity to offer our prayers and to have masses celebrated for our deceased brothers and sisters-that they too may rejoice to see God face to face."  We don't know if our loved ones who have passed on are in the glory of God's eternal home yet.  They may be in purgatory in need of our prayers.  I remember my brother Mark telling me once that if we pray for a soul who already in heaven and does not need our prayers, that prayer is bounced off like a pinball and goes to another soul in need, perhaps to the neediest soul.  Prayers for the dead are never wasted, they are never in vain.

  I feel so blessed to have been here in Borongan to remember and pray for all of our beloved dead, to experience these two days the way I believe they were intended to be observed and to, once again, learn and grow more deeply in my faith thanks to true missionary souls.